From Survival to Stability: The Fight for Safe Housing After Abuse

Women escaping domestic violence often face an impossible choice: stay in a dangerous situation or risk homelessness. With shelters full, affordable housing out of reach, and support systems often broken by abuse, many women are left with nowhere to go.

Take my friend Detra. After more than 30 years in a toxic marriage, she finally walked away—literally. Stranded on the side of a highway in Arkansas, she had no idea what would come next. She moved to NYC, where her son took her in, but when his job moved him out of the area, she was stuck. Should she return to the place where she had experienced unimaginable trauma? Or start over in one of the most expensive cities in the world with no savings and a barista’s paycheck?

When we met, it was in a shelter office—one of the many we partner with. But shelters, even the best ones, aren't a true solution. They have strict rules, limited space, and conditions that, while necessary to accommodate as many people as possible, can often feel dehumanizing. But her story isn't unique. Thousands of women find themselves in this same trap, with no clear path forward. Detra survived because of her resilience, faith, and the kindness of customers at her coffee shop who helped her finally secure a place of her own.

So what can we do? We need more investment in safe, long-term housing solutions—places where women can rebuild their lives with dignity. We need stronger protections for survivors, so a lack of rental history or financial security doesn't keep them homeless. And most importantly, we need to end the stigma. Too often, homelessness is seen as a personal failing rather than a systemic crisis.

Throughout March, I'll be sharing more about the challenges women face when fleeing abuse—and the policies, organizations, and people working to create real change. Because no woman should have to choose between violence and the streets. Everyone deserves a home.